Escarg...oh, no, you didn't! or "Them's snails!"

One of my most favorite scenes from Little House on the Prairie was when Mr. Edwards and Charles were eating in a "fancy" restaurant in one of those big cities they always visited for business. They decide to order something really nice, and the waiter suggests the escargots. The men order their "es-car-gots" and when the little morsels arrive at the table, both men are outraged--"Why, them's snails!" they shout as they leave the restaurant in a fury.

I went on a cruise with my husband's family last weekend to celebrate his lovely grandmother's 80th birthday. It was the first cruise for our family of three, and we were told before leaving that we should be prepared for the wonderful food. Guess what? It was wonderful, and there was plenty of it. On the menu for our formal dinner evening I did spy something that always makes me giggle, and well, gag--the incredibly luxurious escargots bourguignon. Them's snails, for us simpletons.

I feel like I have a pretty adventurous pallet, but personally I find a plate of snails, excuse me, escargots, to be one of the most vile dishes I have ever tried to eat. They taste like grass and dirt. What about the delectable garlic butter sauce, you say? Well, I would prefer to eat that on something not disgusting like pasta or vegetables. I may even prefer to eat that on actual grass and dirt rather than consuming an escargot.

So, back to the cruise. I am a Frenchie-Francophile (that means "lover of France" for those of you raising your eyebrows) who has actually lived in France and has been served "escargots done right" and I can imagine no greater punishment than being forced to eat a plate of smelly, once-slimy creatures swimming in fat, garlic, and herbs. My brother-in-law (a very cool guy, by the way) ordered the escargots as his appetizer. He won't eat a fresh tomato, but he will eat a plate of slugs in sauce. I don't get it. Is it the luxe factor? I have a theory on that.

I think it went something like this: Two con men are walking through the woods searching for provisions for their next meal. One looks down at the ground and inspiration strikes. "Hey! Remember how we tricked that emperor into walking around naked? Well, there's plenty of snails here--let's see if we can get the rich people in town to eat them! Get out the garlic butter and herbs!"

It couldn't possibly be that someone saw it as a good idea. Who would seriously look down at the ground and say, "Check out the slime trail that thing's leaving! Looks like good eats to me! Quick, get the garlic butter and herbs!"

Oh oui, Somewhere out there is a dead Frenchman who is laughing hysterically saying, "I so wasn't serious about that! You're not really going to eat those are you???" With a French accent, of course.

An actual escargot de bourgogne. (Apparently a homeless escargot.)
This picture was taken in 1998 in the woods near Autun, France in the region of Burgundy.
Amazingly I was able to take this shot without succumbing to the urge to reach down, snatch him up and eat him.

Quarantined

We're under quarantine. OK, so it's not as serious as it sounds--my little guy has what the doctor is calling bronchitis and he is contagious, so we are home bound for the rest of the week. It's kind of strange, too. This week and next should have been two of the busiest of the season for us, and suddenly with a fairly high fever and a few coughs, we have nothing to do except dose medicine and drink fluids.

There is another side to this as well--we're supposed to go on a cruise next weekend with my husband's family (pretty much all of them, in celebration of his dear grandmother's 80th birthday), and I'm a little concerned about this change in health. We can't cancel really cancel our reservations, and I'm pretty sure a family of sick people wouldn't be too welcome on the boat. I believe I read a clause in the informative booklet we received that says something like, "Sick people will be left to fend for themselves at the nearest port of call." Yes, I'm paraphrasing a bit, but I do have a feeling that we would be locked in our stateroom before Captain Stubing would allow his ship to become a floating lazaretto. So somehow we have to nurse our son back into health while keeping our own hands clean and germ-free...yikes. I can't even estimate how many times I was on the receiving end of sneezes and coughs today...

Donna lent us this book, and it has come in quite handy!

Oh, nuts...

Have you ever seen a real walnut? One that's still on the tree or has just fallen off? It looks very different from what you find on the grocery store shelf.

I'm sure there is a philosophical blog article I could write about the lesson to be learned on inner beauty when beholding the walnut (yada, yada, yada), and feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments section, but honestly, I just thought they looked kind of funny and interesting and I wanted to show you.

Happy Friday!

Isn't art supposed to be messy?

I was perusing the art supplies at our local Supercenter the other day, and I noticed the growing number of "mess-free" items for sale. The markers that only work on special paper have been on the market for a while, but that day I saw "mess-free" fingerpaint. Wait a minute--isn't that going too far?

I mean, isn't art supposed to be messy? Look at the masterworks of the greatest artists of all time--can you imagine what Monet's Nymphéas would look like if his mother had given him "mess-free" art supplies to play with? I bet Van Gogh made a huge mess before he was done with Starry Night.

I'm not an expert, but many of you are--what do you think? Are clean hands really worth it?

Random Thought of the Day

What about a new Olympic sport? It's called Toddler Dressing. The first mom to chase her toddler around the house, catch him, possibly wrestle him for a minute, and get him completely dressed to the shoes gets the gold. Bonus points for the mom who can squeeze in a diaper change.